“You lose me!!!”

Wonder what it would classify as, a proclamation or maybe almost an exclamation?
Now considering it was a proclamation after all, it is bound to have a certain element of the pitfalls of being judgmental. Come to think of it making a proclamation demands a certain degree of authority in order to be able to do so. And often it is this authority, which corrupts our ability to take an objective and unpartisan view of circumstances. So while we make our proclamation our misplaced belief about our superior position in a dialogue forces us to ignore other points of view. Well, almost. Therefore, while you decided that the person you engaged yourself in a dialogue with is not exactly worthy of persisting with, just perhaps you appropriated inadequate attention to his constraints.

Now that brings us to the case in point and maybe a detailed and verbatim description about the other side of the story. The story, which believes it hasn’t been heard enough.
It’s a story of this rather ordinary boy, who chances upon a lot of ideas, thoughts and intimate emotions of this extraordinary woman, almost a Goddess. This is a woman who excels at the art of the written word and enjoys a supreme belief in her abilities to transgress borders of the mind through her written word. Considering the abject poverty of original thought that this ordinarily mortal boy has witnessed until now in women around him, he is fascinated and yearns to learn more about the Almost a Goddess.
In his quest to unravel more, the young boy reads on and in the process somewhere his impressionable mind is captivated and challenged at the same time. And often this compounded feeling borders on deeply sensuous thought. He conjures up vivid imageries about Almost a Goddess to whom even words pay such obeisance. Now, one may find this association of thought inspired by words and sexuality somewhat remote. To the naked eye this may be true but for the eye that cares to probe deeper it isn’t. Since aeons the fire of challenge has always provoked sexual attraction. For some the challenge has taken the form of physical beauty, for some it stems from a desire for emotional support and for some like our young boy the challenge is provided by tangentially lateral thought. Thought which even he can’t comprehend completely.
A certain twist in the tale is provided by another classic complexity, which adds to the romance of this boy with these thoughts. The boy has no recollection whatsoever of any previous association with Amost a Goddess and hasn’t any clue about her physical form. This allows a free reign to his imagination, yet he is grossly unable to attribute any physical form to his imagination about her. In fact, in his obsession with those thoughts the importance of a physical form for his Amost a Goddess never even crosses his mind.

As he is caught up in this vortex of exciting thought, he secretly wishes to meet Almost a Goddess just once. But, the very thought of an actual rendezvous holds its pitfalls. So many times people disappoint by their incapability to live up to the initial promise they pose, until they meet. So many times their best, which fascinates you isn’t able to cover up for the worst, which is unveiled only upon meeting.
Somehow, by now our young boy has come to treasure his imagination about Almost a Goddess so much so that he finally decides to confess his predicament to Almost a Goddess herself. Unfortunately, in spite of all Her prowess she is unable to understand, or maybe she refuses to understand, that for the young boy her physical form is of no consequence at all. He worships the Almost a Goddess for the sacredly original thought she stands for. The magnetic thread by which he is pulled towards Her is made of the unconquerable challenge she poses to him by Her radical beliefs and thoughts. However, until now his feelings are a form of idol worship, as he hasn’t ever met her. And today, when a tryst with his Almost a Goddess beckons he is gripped with apprehension. All that he ever believed about Her was formed out of what he read of Her works, which primarily were monologues. Therefore, his fear isn’t completely misplaced about the thought of his Almost a Goddess not turning out to be as sensuous during a dialogue. All too often, a direct dialogue has denuded a lot of perfunctory perceptions formed out of monologous correspondence, as they cannot be challenged as they can be in a dialogue. Just this once the young boy wishes it doesn’t turn out to be thus.
Coming back to the whole issue of proclamations and exclamations, it could very well be possible that the pedestal onto which the Almost a Goddess was raised blinded her vision of lesser mortals below. She refused to provide the young boy with a sufficiently prolonged audience and allowed her judgment to be too hasty. Perhaps, without trying to understand what the young boy’s concept of sensuality was, she related it her physical form. Perhaps she ended up insulting the young boy’s sacred concept of sensuality by typecasting him with Her previous experience. Perhaps she never understood that she was nothing more than a radical school of thought, which incidentally belonged to the female half of the human species, for the young boy. Perhaps she never cared to understand that the challenge, which she posed, was completely abstract and therefore could have nothing to do with Her physical form. Perhaps she never understood that the boy’s apprehensions were about whether this radical school of thought would withstand the test of an intense dialogue if they met. Perhaps she just proved that proclamations are biased and judgmental, as they are made from a height without a complete understanding of ground reality.
Equally possible was the exclamatory nature of the statement, which demonstrated the eagerness of Almost a Goddess to typecast the boy as one of those who she had won over. It could just have been an eagerness to categorize him as just one of those men she felt she possessed as edge against. Perhaps it was Her easiest way to win against him by exclaiming a self-announced victory. But maybe she was just running away from the battlefield without having withstood the complete wherewithal of the boy and his ideas.

Wherever the truth lies is beyond the young boy, considering his limited cognizance. But whatever the truth, he just knows one thing for sure, if he did lose her, he must have possessed her at one time, for some time at least!!!